Mommy's different now

Jackie Rawlings Riverside California — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:15:05 GMT

Great story Maria and I'm glad Naomi got have alive.
My daughter is a US Military Soldier who's name to is Naomi. I know first hand what our female soldiers have to deal with in this so called War. Female Soldiers with kids and single soldiers are facing the horrors. Female soldiers have to not only defend their fellow soldiers but also themselves. My daughter couldn't travel alone without a fellow female soldier so she wouldn't be raped. The stories Americans don't want to hear because the truth would hurt to much. It's better to talk about other countries and their horror of injustice. Americans have pretty much forgotten about woman serving in the US Military as even the Generals act like their not included. I did find that the soldiers themselves stick up for each other but of course theres always some bad apples. Children will look at our Military much different as they grow up, just like the children of Iraq will look at Americans much different. Sometimes what a child sees they don't express until their older. This illegal invasion has brought on a new meaning of Parents serving in the Military. Their are many victims in this invasion and only time will tell what the true outcome will be.

Mommy's different now

Sheliah Webb — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:26:14 GMT

Get a grip...Do you think every father through out time hasn't dealt with these same issues after returning from war? Women are asking for the same treatment and responsibilities as the male members of our military, so they will have to deal with the same downfalls. They have my support, but know they aren't alone in the reconnection issue they are having with their children. I'm a female child of a career military man. The Korean War took my dad for over a year and Vietnam took him away for 18 months. Believe me, the connection can be made you just have to make it a priority.

Mommy's different now

Tamela Young, Pomona, CA — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:42:54 GMT

This story is inspriring. I am a mom of a 4 year old and I could not imagine leaving him behind because my job told me I had to do it. These women are superheroes. Well done and may God Bless them all. :)

Mommy's different now

Sandy Logan, Cottage Grove, Minnesota — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:44:51 GMT

Why would a woman give birth, only to leave her child for the military? Strange. No wonder the USA is in trouble.........these women are selfish.

Mommy's different now

bait master, NY NY — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:22:00 GMT

Sounds to me that Sheliah needs to get a grip. Everyone deals with things differently. This was just one article not a 100. I commend this women for what she is doing. Yes we want to be treated equally, who wouldn't but just because you get interviewed about your life after the fact gives no one the right to judge anyone. It is sad that someone would write something like this person did, nowhere in the article did they say it wasn't being made a priority. This women has guts to leave her family behind to fight for this country and I say that for the men as well. Give our troops a break and support in all that they have to deal with, whether it be financial, emotional, or just fitting back in, or it will feel like another Vietnam. Those poor solider's that came back from there were treated awful and they did the same thing this women has done. Show some respect.

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Patty Wasson, North Pole Alaska — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:35:08 GMT

I was a child of a parent that was in the military and it wasn't until he retired (which so happened to be the year I graduated from High School) did we get to see him for more than a couple of days/weeks without him having to leave again and again. My dad had also been to war. It is hard to reconnect but both parties have to want it and go from there. So when I married a military man I knew what my kids would have to go through and they always stayed connected even when he left and my son was only 2 years old. Daddy still called and if nothing else my son just listened to his voice on the phone, when he could call which wasn't often. If you want everything to work out you will try and never give up. I didn't and my kids didn't suffer in the end. good luck, and I don't think it matters if you are male or female, you both suffer. But if you don't get back your relationships with your families they all suffer.

Mommy's different now

Jamie, Salt Lake, Utah — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:32:15 GMT

Different, huh? A wife wrote a Sergeant in my unit in Desert Storm a letter saying she'd divorce him if he didn't return to help with the bills and family which, caused that otherwise mentally tough Sergeant to breakdown into tears. Needless to say, the anti-war protests undoubtedly had an impact on that. Let's hope those women are different because, that wife is in serious need of change.

Mommy's different now

TA, Cleveland, Ohio — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:34:15 GMT

God bless all serving. That said, there should be absolutely NO difference between men and women in service. THIS IS AN ALL VOLUNTEER ARMY. Mothers choose to go fight the same as fathers do. I respect all of them but remember.....they knew the possibilities of deployment when they decided to join.

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Theresa A., Colton, California — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:01:21 GMT

I think that this woman like many others is putting there life on the line for all our childrens future. I commend you and am proud of all the soldiers woman or men. It is very difficult to not know what to expect when soldiers get home, but I pray for the safe return of all the soldiers. Peace :)

Mommy's different now

Samantha, Stearns, MN — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:04:11 GMT

I agree with the bait master when he said that Sheliah needs to get a grip. If she had read the whole article she would have read the part that acknowledged both the men and women were suffering. I think the sarcasm was unnessisary and if she wasn't interested in connecting with her family she never would have done that interview. Why don't you show some compassion.

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Family — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:39:27 GMT

My friend is a single father of three boys. He had to leave his boys 2 times, each over a year deployment. The boys were lucky, they got to stay with thier grandmother and the mother never came to claim them. He is home now but he has had alot of hard times with getting the boys to the life style they had before he left. Not only are the women facing these hard challenges but so are the single dads. So many parents have lost thier children while fighting in this war, I'm happy to hear atleast one more story of a family not being ripped apart.

Mommy's different now

AD, Salt Lake City, UT — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:07:50 GMT

I don't think this article has anything to do with the difference between men and women in the military. The reporter could have easily picked a man. The point here is not "men and women differences" but the experiences that our soliders go through in war and how they effect the solider and the family.
I am thankful for the men and women who serve our country. It is truly UNSELFISH to serve on behalf of a country, family, people who you don't know.

Mommy's different now

Angelosdaughter, Reno, NV — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:19:49 GMT

I think it is irresponsible for both parents to leave their children for military service. Don't have kids if you want to be a soldier. Your first and main duty when you have children is to be there for them, not to risk leaving them parentless. They didn't ask to come into the world and it really shouldn't be up to the taxpayers to support them if you get killed. I can't believe the military allows both parents to be deployed.

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Teisa Tupou-Pati, Copperas Cove, TX — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:22:13 GMT

I am amaze how brave our men & women are. They all need our support in every way. I myself is a female veteran and I deployed during Desert Storm. Thou the military ia all volunteer base, it still hard when that order arrives saying that I must get ready to deploy. I have three little children at time I deployed, 10, 7, and a 6 year old. It was very very hard for me because I was a single parent, I was separated from my kids father at time. Yes, there were days I couldn't keep my mind off of my children, but I tried to stay occupy. It was hard for me when I returned to communicate. but I did what I had to do to reunite emotionally with my children. I applause our men & women heroes in Iraq, and if I have to do the deployment over again, I will do it again for my country, but too sad, I am retired now from the service and enjoying the freedom. God bles

Mommy's different now

Susan, Golden, Co — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:22:50 GMT

In order to avoid the "sacrifice" do not join the military if you have children, or are planning to have children. A child needs his/her parents, not substitute caregivers. Start your family after you have terminated your military career.

Mommy's different now

Teisa Tupou-Pati, Copperas Cove, TX — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:27:14 GMT

Mommy's different now

Autumn, Lemoore CA — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:33:18 GMT

Sandy,
We leave our children because we swore to defend this country and it's ideals with our very lives. I know that my son is safe at home and that I am teaching him the value of Honor Courage and Commitment. Just as his father is. We are both Active Duty US Navy, and both of us are scheduled to deploy this year.

Mommy's different now

Army Reservist — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:58:19 GMT

It is good to see a story focusing on servicewomen specifically. All servicemembers and their families make sacrifices. Many of the articles I have seen happen to feature male servicemembers. The military has many programs to try to assist the reconnection of deployed members with their families upon their returns. With many of our troops facing multiple deployments, the stresses on them and their families will only get worse.

Mommy's different now

William Duprey — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:02:49 GMT

Females want the money, education and benefits from serving in the reserves. Why is this article writer crying in behalf of the mother soldiers doing the obligations they signed up for.

Mommy's different now

tom the villages.fl — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:20:07 GMT

Who and where are the fathers in this sad story?

Mommy's different now

Neri, Ocean Springs, MS — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:28:59 GMT

This was a great story about a great person. I know Naomi personally and have for over 3 years. This is the first time I have ever heard of her "war story." This is a strong and humble mother trying to spread the word of what Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines have and are going through. As a former Airman, I salute my friend for serving and giving you the freedom to send in such comments about military service.

Mommy's different now

Melody, Oregon City, Or — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:52:48 GMT

Men and women serving in the miltary should receive our support, not out condemnation. The freedoms we enjoy in this country and the rights we have as Americans are defended by our military. I thank the Lord that I was born in this country and I honor all our miltary personal and keep them and their families in my prayers for all the sacfrices they make to keep us all safe.

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Brenda Little — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:29:19 GMT

Bottom line: A lot of those who choose to go into the military (men or women) do so for the advantages, education etc.... that's fine but don't complain when things get tough! That's what the military is all about isn't it?

Mommy's different now

Cold in Colorado — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:34:20 GMT

Wow really!! I am too a mother serving in the USAF Active Duty and everyday it is a challenge. I chose the USAF first then I had my children while serving and I wouldn't change my lifestyle for ANYONE!!! I commend all mothers who choose to reenlist, because we are not obligated to stay in, we are not only serving for ourselves or our families but for everyone in the United States. Naomi I love you girl, take care!

God Bless!!!

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Miles Bradford — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:07:18 GMT

Men know when they watch TV as children that someday they will be given the opportunity to be a Rambo. Don't women realize the fate we men are brainwashed to have can be them also? Didn't they see the women in Rambo. Sure only a few - but, nevertheless - they got killed. Women need to wise up. If it's on the TV - eventually it'll be in your living room in real life - like spouses coming home all shot up and dismemebered. The difference being - the ones on TV get paid a huge amount of money and aren't really messed up and go home and party whenever they want. Funny how an entire nation set up TV shows to seduce men to die for some corporation and test their metal against death - and that's great - but, when women want to test their metal - men get condemned for that, too. Men can't win in a world of whiner women. A woman getting nailed in war is no different than a man. Quit showing pity for one and not the other. A bomb, a bullet - knoweth no sex!

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Trina, Ft. Richardson, Alaska — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:09:07 GMT

I am proudly married to an Army man. We have two wonderful boys. My oldest has problems at school; he is very smart, and has a better understanding of this life than most kids his age. He has watched his Dad leave twice now and we're gearing up for another deployment. This doesn't help. My son has gone to counseling, but the military doesn't have a lot of 'emotionally helpful' programs for kids. I fear that my second son will also have problems during this next deployment. He won't be old enough to understand WHY Daddy left, only that he is gone. To all my fellow spouses with the same concerns, utilize your mental health resources, your service member's chain of command, and the community services centers; find people willing to help create a plan and then put it into action. It may take a while, but it'll be worth it in the long run. As for reconnecting, its hard for servicemembers to turn off the 'soldier' and be 'family'. The brain has to set some things aside in order to function in certain situations. Its called compartmentalizing. Don't judge someone for their feelings, thoughts, or actions, especially if you have never gone through similar circumstances. Thank you to those who support the military and their families. For those who don't support us, all I can say is you should thank a soldier for your right to speak freely.

"Well behaved women rarely make history."

Mommy's different now

Paul, Alabama — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:10:52 GMT

To Naomi and all the single parents in the military, God Bless you for what you do EVERY DAY! I am active duty U.S. Army and am fortunate to have a wife who stands by my side, which by the way is not easy. I have three small children who were all born AFTER i joined. So for those of you selfish and ignorant so called americans who say not to join cause you have kids, how would you like every service member to get out of the military because they have kids. Are you going to stand up to the enemies of our way of life? Would you like a ticket to imprisonment now? For those who have anything else negative to say about some of the finest Americans you could ever meet, Keep quiet. Oh yeah, forgot we protect your freedom of speech too, so in that case at least be respectful and don't call them selfish americans. And last but not least, if you have a big enough problem with any of us, you could always just pack up and leave, I hear IRAQ is a nice place to live.

GOD BLESS THE USA!!!!!!!!

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CombatMama, Syracuse, NY — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:48:28 GMT

I have served my country for 12 years, and am pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are both active duty soldiers, and have dealt first hand with deployments. That's a part of the sacrifice. We understand that. But I can't believe some people actually think that women shouldn't have children and stay in. We actually care about our jobs, our country, and our fellow Americans- and that includes the closed-minded people like angelosdaughter and susan in golden, co. When dual-military parents deploy, they have to have an approved family-care plan otherwise one has to stay. We don't just abandon our children. Oh and by the way, we are tax payers too.

Mommy's different now

fubarnator, san antonio, tx — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:59:26 GMT

This reporter was a former Access Hollywood reporter given a shot at the big time with this fluff piece. The regulars wouldn't touch this. The three women that I know returning from Iraq didn't have any problems. One of them returned with a greater sense of gratitude for the good here and now and no longer sweats the small stuff like she used to. Don't forget the heroes by idolizing these "victims". Air Force females in the lower enlisted ranks are in well protected areas. Single mom deployed? Then she shouldn't have signed up. Having what looks like a twelve year old daughter is a sign that she joined after divorce, not before. Is it PTSD or guilt?

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fc — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:07:55 GMT

men should be honored, since THEY are the face of nearly all of those killed or wounded in this and ALL wars. if feminists don't like that, too damn bad. let them replace the men who are, as usual, shouldering the actual awful burdens in life.

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Mark, Pueblo, CO — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:18:21 GMT

I retired from the military, getting married after my first enlistment, and we had our first child while still on active duty Navy, then shortly after departing active duty we had our second child while I was in the reserves and presently I am still in a uniform protecting people everyday as a deputy sheriff in Colorado, if needed I would be more then happy to step back into the naval uniform to support and defend the United States, during my military day's both active and in the reserves I was deployed away from my family and yes there was hard times reconnecting with them but with time and love one can make it through the hard times.

RM1 USNR(RET)

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John — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:33:59 GMT

Do you think George Bush would have mislead the country into war if Jenna was on her way to serve her country? I hold high praise and respect to the MEN and WOMEN who serve and continue to protect our country. The Bush twins would never be able to tell a story like this lady has because they weren't up for sacrifice like all of the lives lost in this unjust war because they are the President's daughters. The sacrifice continues for this lady because she lives with battle scars within her that will never be healed. I pray for her and those like her that have made it back alive.

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John — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:34:18 GMT

Mommy's different now

A. Goeres — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:46:59 GMT

I do support our military 100% I am ever grateful for their sacrefices and bravery.
However women wanted to be treated as equal . What did they think Equal ment that they would get the benefits but then when they were needed in times of war that they could hide behind their rights to stay at home with their kids. I am sooo sorry for the kids as this was not their choice.
As sorry as I am for the children of any soldier I am even more tired of the FEMENIST joke that you are entitled to have it all. Since the begining of time men have been dealing with this issue of wars, and even though some may not like to admit it they are much better able and suited for this job.Apparently these women never understood that when soldiers said "War was hell" that it ment not only for the opponents but for them as they also had to endure the hardship of being away from family and country.
Sorry Ladies you cannot have it both ways. Still this is America and you get to choose
A) You stay home,have and raise good strong sons to fight and protect us.
B)Play at being equal,become a soldier with all the benefits and problems associated with this great profession/calling.
If you choose A as a nation we thank you and if you choose B we thank you just the same. But know that our investment in women soldiers is as equal to men and our expectations are also equal.So your problems will nor should be of no greater importance than that of of a man.
Yeah to many It may seem that I hate female soldiers or believe that women are less than men ... I do not. While I do believe that they have a place in the military not in combat and not away from the children who did not ask them to be born. There are some things that women are much better suited for and some that men are better for.
Fathering and Mothering are different think back to when you were a child didn't you have occasions when you needed only your Mom or only Dad and having the Dad when you needed Mom didnt help there were also times when you needed both.Old fashioned but still true.

Mommy's different now

Alicia, Texas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:53:47 GMT

I believe this article was supposed to be focusing on the kids and how they are affected by the war not on how women are better victims than men, how men are under appreciated for their sacrifices, nor how crappy our servicemen/women are for daring to have kids and remain in the military or join it. Can we please keep focus here? The author had to describe what happened to the mother to be able to paint the picture of how it affected the kids to begin with. Not all of us are just plain mentally disturbed for no reason.

The military needs to extend the mental health services for the family, as well as for the service people, and it has needed to since before this war. At least since back in 1994 to my knowledge, and probably even further back than that. And since we don't care about how the kids are affected mentally then we shouldn't care when they become the next high school shooters because they are traumatized by what their parents have gone through.

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Sandy Hans, Dayton, OH — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:55:58 GMT

As a mother I was both proud and devastated when my young son announced that he had enlisted. Proud? Yes, to hear him say that he was putting off college and his life in order to do his part to make sure that his family had a safe place to continue to live and enjoy our freedoms (which we seem to take for granted). I am no stranger to the pains of war and what it does to men and women - my first husband was a Recon Marine during the Vietnam War and he never recovered. My son left home a gentle, kind, loving young man full of dreams and hopes. He returned from his first tour a quiet, reserved, stressed young man who needed much time alone to sort out what he had seen and most likely what he had had to do. He came to terms with these issues and we gave him the room to do this without being selfish enough to smother him and keep asking him to discuss what had happened. He has since done 3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, got married, re-enlisted and is proud to be an American Soldier who fought and continues to fight for his country. We as Americans should spend more time supporting our sons and daughters who are sacrificing their lives for us. When and where did anyone get the idea that life was easy for anyone regardless of gender after fighting in a war? The MEDIA????????? The MEDIA PRINTS WHAT SELLS PAPERS, OUR NEW COVERAGE ON TV AND RADIO BROADCASTS DEPICT THE GRIM AND UGLY SIDE OF ALL OF IT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT SELLS, SELLS, SELLS AND SELLS! They are the one's who are sitting back making the big $$$$$$$$$$ and do you see any of them sending any of that money they make to the families of the soldiers who are barely able to eat? NO! Do they bother to share what the salaries of these young men and women breaks down to at an hourly rate? NO! Whether you survive or not depends on many things. How you were raised, how you believe, your reasons for being there and to damn a single one of them is simply wrong. These should be the "elite" as they make the 'ULTIMATE SACRIFICE' EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY so that you and I can live in a free country. Is that not worth more than a salary below minimum wage? Are they not entitled to families and love? Since the beginning of time soldiers have had wives and families and now we have to find one more issue to pick apart. Shouldn't we be putting all of our energies on making this life better and easier by other means? To my knowledge there is no DRAFT so each and every soldier is there by CHOICE and every mother, father, wife, husband, friend and stranger should be praying all day every day for their safety and giving thanks that they are so brave and unselfish that they are willing to put their lives on the line for the rest of us. They believe in what they are doing or they would not be there. It is easy to say what you believe in but few are brave enough to back it up!! Thank God for each and every soldier fighting for this country and for the less fortunate who are not able to fight for themselves.

Mommy's different now

arian, eugene, OR — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:08:27 GMT

i'm terribly sorry...but all of you (with the exception of trina from alaska) are seriously missing the point of this story. the point of the story is learning to live with someone with ptsd. this is extremely difficult, especially if you are a young child. and as trina stated, the therapy services for young children are not being provided for by the VA. a DAY to talk to people about how mom/dad has changed? not enough. as a wife of an OIF vet with ptsd and a 10 and 7 year it is extremely frustrating, especially when finances are limited. i am so concerned about this problem, that i have decided to seek a masters degree in sociology so that i will be able to hopefully set something up for young children with a parent of combat ptsd.

Mommy's different now

Spartan, San Antonio, TX — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:11:50 GMT

Friends,
This is why the great social experiment of women and men in the Armed Forces serving equally is such a failure. There are many issues that cause discontent in the military, and there are some that are more severe than others.
Citizen soldiers, especially mothers with children should not be exposed to the horrors of war. It is a burden that has been borne by the men of all great societies. Who will cultivate the lives of our children when their mothers become basket cases due to the rigors of war?
Have you seen the ridiculous physical condition of a 47 year old E-4 who is trying to make it through training? Can you imagine how easily a 19 year old female body breaks under a 50 pound ruck sack, or how quickly stress fractures develop on a woman who is 40 pounds overweight and permitted to join the service?
The government does not publicize the statistics regarding women in the service who do not complete their tours. It does not matter if it is a real injury, malingering, pregnancy or any number of other reasons to return home; many, many never finish their tours and many more will be recipients of Veterans benefits for pre-existing conditions that were "exacerbated" by duty.
Let's get a grip. Let's offer women the opportunity to serve anywhere but in the combat zone. Let's not cheat our daughters and their children of a future. What sick mind believes equality is letting their daughter or sister be exposed to the horror of war. What sick mind would pretend that equality is permitting their children, brothers, parents and grandchildren live with a mother who is scarred from the mental difficulties of battle?
Let's return the humanity to our country and celebrate womanhood, motherhood and retaining femininity. Lets rejoice in the women in our lives and quit pretending that there are no differences. The strength of diversity is not a strength when bullets fly and bombs drop. It is a dirty and terrible thing that real warriors would protect their families and friends from.

Mommy's different now

Marlayna Wahiawa, Hawaii — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:37:30 GMT

I am truely sad to read such hateful words from fellow americans. I do recognize the people who support as well and that is the difference. People keep focusing on the negative and being defensive when there's no reason for it. Yes, we have the right to free speech and to say whatever we choose, but that doesn't mean we always should. A simple article about the difficulties of being a military parent shouldn't have turned into a scape goat. No one is asking for special recognition, they are creating a clear picture of just what it is our service members give up to serve our country. It's hard, they knew it when they signed up, but it shouldn't be made light of by those who have never been. Whether some one supports a war or not, our soldiers don't question they just protect and there should be nothing but gratitude for that or silence from those who don't want to be grateful. Please, as they taught us in grade school, if you have nothign nice to say don't say anythign at all.

Mommy's different now

Doug, Idaho — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:41:21 GMT

I wish the the author should have asked more of the women in our military what they think. They aren't looking for special treatment and bravely soldier on because that is what the duty entails. Moms and dads are going to war and sharing the hardships equally, as it should be. No mom goes to war however without a caregiver back home.

In a larger sense it still amazes me that stories like these illicit suprise and anger. It is shocking how little the avg American understands about this career choice - it ain't the money for most of us...its courage, honor and committment to our comrades and our country. We don't sign up for a war, we sign up for the country. If we go to war, so be it - we knew what it entailed when we joined. Those of us who joined for the money or the training opportunity, never dreaming they might actually have to do the main job - fight, are few and far between these days.

The fact is, we can't run the military without women, in combat and support roles...its been true for many years. We really are all one now - and Thank God for the woman in the cockpit, on the bridge, in the foxhole and in the operating room. I married one, and have the greatest respect for her courage, honor and committment to her country and her family.

Mommy's different now

C Krouse, Tacoma, WA — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 05:19:02 GMT

It would appear that some of the persons who responded to the story have personal issues for whatever reason. I have a beautiful daughter who joined the ARNG shortly after 9-11. "Some one has to stand up for those people who's lives were destroyed." At first, as a mother, I did everything I could think of to talk her out of the military before 9-11...you know my tomboy-little princess... She was uniquely steadfast that "Some one has to stand up for all those people who can't and won't." "Look at all those idiots who think they are so bad, hanging out in gangs, they are weak, I certainly can't depend on them to protect me and my family when I start one." "This country allows all these kids to drop out of school, support all these single mom's and rarely dad's, who are too lazy to take care of themselves let alone their own government supported children even on a good day." I didn't argue her logic or ideals and further. She knew the risks of possible deployment and could have taken hardship after her little girl was born a couple years later. She didn't give up on her personal ideals or belief in this country. I cared for her home and my granddaughter for over a year in her absense with no regrets. "I do" understand through all the early morning - late night calls that I took not only from my own daughter, but also from many other soldiers - both men and women, Who's families couldn't deal with it all, and those who had no one else to call to keep a sense of home, who shared the same unique core values and appreciation for what we have in this great country. Each person makes their own choices in life for their own reasons, good or bad ones. You rarely, if ever hear of a committed soldier condemning another for their self sacrifice, so what gives anyone but these brave individuals the right to comment negatively on something that they obviously cannot grasp. I am extremely proud of my daughter and her fellow soldiers who stuck it out when the going got tough. I understand what Naomi is trying to convey, there are at least a half million stories equal or worse, for both men and women of the military. They should all be treated with the greatest regard and respect by those who aren't willing to give so much of themselves out of Honor, Duty, Self sacrifice - to allow us to maintain the freedoms we are so spoiled by. There "is no soldier" who has been deployed (out of country), that has not been changed by it in some way beyond a greater appreciation for what others take for granted. If nothing else, maybe articles like this one, and other "War Stories", can help naive Americans get a reality check as to how much worse things could potentially get without the Soldiers. Maybe more of would work harder to see that "all veterans" are treated better and given more respect not only when they return home, but for the rest of their lives.
I fail to understand how giving of yourself for the right reasons, in any situation, should be considered selfish. How many able bodied persons do you know that are drifting through life, working a decent job with decent hours, partying, laying around every night watching TV - until anything about the Military comes about?? They are all O.K. that some one is taking care of business as long as it isn't them. I personally think that "every" 18yr old person able bodied person, citizen or resident, in the USA should be required to perform 1yr of service to this great country in some way or another.
Proud "Family" of an American Soldier.

Mommy's different now

Trina, Ft. Richardson — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:00:44 GMT

RE Sandy Logan: I wonder how you could think these women are selfish. Have you ever had a job that required travel, for whatever reason? Are you saying that the CEO's of companies are selfish, too? After all, they leave their familes, willingly, to make a meeting in another city, state, or even country. Are doctors selfish, when they fly to another country to assist in seperating joined twins or to do humanitarian work for one of the many organizations that help people in other developing countries? Or is it just American women who serve in the armed forces who are selfish? We all do our jobs, and sometimes those jobs require us to be parted from those we love and care for. If the military men and women didn't 'do their jobs', what do you think would happen? We don't ask for the spotlight, we don't ask for media attention. What we do ask for is respect. You aren't required to support our decisions, you aren't required to understand those choices, but at least show respect for the people who serve you, and your country. For without these brave men and women, where would you be? What language would you speak? Would you be 'free'? Would you even be able to type your thoughts on a web site for the world to see?

PS- Sandy, who would you call if a natural disaster, such as flooding, occured in your city? FEMA, the government? Or would you expect to see the National Gurads and Reservists out there, helping in whatever way possible: clean-up, protection of people and property, transportation of goods, etc? Think before you condemn, for you show your ignorance by calling heroes 'selfish'.

Mommy's different now

Jennifer, Newport, RI — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:21:13 GMT

As a mental health professional, as well as a reservist currently deployed to the Area of Responsibility. I am appaled at some of the remarks in some of these posts. First of all, for some people the military is a great option, for others it is the only option. While yes there are many great benefits, there are also many sacrifices that go along with service. But it is a choice that all of us volunteer for. Does anyone truly want to be away from their family, children or friends. NO WAY, but they are fulfilling the commitment that they made when they raised their hand and took the oath of enlistment. In many cases this was made before they had children. I do not have children, and I can not imagine how difficult it would be to have to leave my children, especially as a single parent. Rather than put these women down for the choices that they made we need to rally and support all military members for the daily sacrifices that they make. The daily anguish that our soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines and coast guard can not be understood by anyone except those who have served. So do not critize, redicule, judge or condemn these servicemen and women. You do not have a right to!

Mommy's different now

Jennifer, Newport, RI — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:24:00 GMT

Mommy's different now

Molett, Laveen, AZ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:30:15 GMT

Naomi I am an soldier stationed in Iraq as I write this. I just hav to say that I salute you. Most of the people on here have not even been out of the county so what do they know about what we go through. When I went home on R&R I couldn't say nothing I felt empty like there was nothing their. Not all people in the military come here to get benefits I know i didn't. I seen what happened and the first thing I thought about was joining and that's what I did, while the war was going on. As a matter of fact right now i'm giving up my education, as soon as this tour is over i'm voulenteering for another only because when I do bring A child into this world I want them to know that their safe from any foreign or domestic violence just like I swore to when I first signed up. And just like PAUL said If you don't like that or support what we do then IRAQ is a good place to live.

Mommy's different now

Douglas Hummel 128 herbert st .n.syracuse .n.y. — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:30:37 GMT

All,s fair in love and war.

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Soldier in Baghdad — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:38:44 GMT

I normally do not post to these things, but the comments here appalled me. I am a female currently serving my second deployment in Iraq with men and women who have had to leave their families in order to protect the same citizens who want to condemn them. It is a good thing that we have a volunteer Army so that those who are not selfish can serve for the freedoms of everyone. Further, PTSD is a real problem for some Soldiers that return so consider those men and women that return without problems to be lucky. It is also possible that they are fine to outsiders like you but it is their families that have to deal with their nightmares and depression. Thanks to those that show unconditional support and understand that our family's sacrifices are for the U.S. as a whole. Those that think otherwise should bite their tongues and be happy that there isn't a draft.

Mommy's different now

ken griffin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 08:36:50 GMT

I have to admit I am old fashioned. I served in the Navy for 22 years and I saw the sad faces of the Moms who deployed and I have to be honest, it's not good for the country or humanity for women to leave their children for months and months. I do not think it is good in the long run to deploy mothers. They should be near their children. I do not mean any disrespect to women, but a damaged mother can have a devastating effect on the children. Much greater, than a father.

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Rebecca, VA — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:40:10 GMT

I am amazed that people actually think that if we (female soldiers) want to have children we should not join the military! Why not? Are we not entitled to a normal life with the most precious gift God gives us? My children are healthy and happy. They also understand that what I do is definitely NOT selfish! Those who say we should not have children are selfish!

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Mike, South Carolina — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:13:45 GMT

A great story about selfish women in this country! A parent's first obligation needs to be to her (or his) children. It is no surprise her children are having "difficulties". That is the number one problem in this country today...too many parents are looking out for themselves first and not worrying about their kids. I don't have any respect for anyone in the military who doesn't put their own kids first.

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John Doe, AL — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:28:54 GMT

I have no sympathy for these women. They are just getting a taste of what men have went through for centuries. 9 times out of 10, they are initially looking for a way to take care of their children because of a failed relationship. Going to College, raising children and paying the bills doesn't work at the same time. So the easy way out, which it is for most people who don't have anything going for them, join the Military. All the while, thinking they are exempt from being sent off due to them being the only parent in their family. Wake UP! You are not a civilian! Earn your pay and quit your WHINING!

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Jack, Arizona — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:38:28 GMT

Thanks to all the men & women in the armed services! As a veteran, I'm proud off all services that keep us safe. Keep the faith!

Mommy's different now

Bob Sciarrone, Tobyhanna, PA — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:48:00 GMT

WOW! I can't believe what I'm reading here in some comments. I know them personally. Anyone who joins the Military deserves more than the average citizen. They are defending our Nation. The average soldier follows direction and does not give them. The average soldier follows policy and does not make them. Are they not entitled to the same life we all have after the Military service ends? A woman lays her life on the line the same as a man. I thought we are equal. It's obvious we are not. It is a dark day in America when we pick and choose who gets praise and who does not when men and women both share the same challenge. These are brave people and ALL should be on the same level. As you can tell, I am distancing myself from the personal aspects of my relationship to this family. I have witnessed their struggles. No service related families need to go through the pain and anguish this family has endured. Why shouldn't a woman give birth and have a family just because of the field ahe chooses to be in?

Mommy's different now

Jeni, Ft. Hood, TX — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:44:19 GMT

I am an Active Duty Army Soldier and I can't believe half of the things I just read. I think it is actually kind of funny how quick most people are to judge those of us who are parents in the military. We are the ones that are putting our lives on the line to defend their RIGHT to say what they want about how they feel, but they critize us for what we do. I don't see them going across the ocean for what is now 15 months at a time to fight for their right for everything. We are the ones defending the Constitution, but we are the only ones in this country that really don't get those privileges because of the uniform that we wear. The taxpayers pay our salary, but we also pay our own if you really think about it. I am a single mother, preparing to deploy, and the people that are going to be taking care of my daughter should anything happen to me will be her grandparents, not the taxpayers. The taxpayers don't pay for anything when it comes to our kids and our families.

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Ellie, Normal, IL — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:47:39 GMT

In response to Sandy, I can't believe you would consider these women to be selfish. Have you even taken it into account that many of these women have children older than the war? Obviously, the war was not forseen 7 years ago. You make it sound as though these women are trying to escape from motherhood when, in all reality, they are just attending to their career. As a female soldier, I understand the commitment that needs to be made, and how hard women have to work to be accepted into the military. And here you are, bashing those same people who are giving you the right to bash them. You are an the selfish one.

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Tyishia, Wichita, KS — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:53:39 GMT

As a female in the USAR with two deployments and pregnant with my first child, I am outraged and saddened by the comments and lack of respect for my fellow comrades who have put their lives on the line for every person who was able to open thier eyes, get out of bed, and enjoy the freedom of being an United States citizen. Selfish is the last word that comes to mind when I served side by side with men AND women who left behind children to ensure that future generations will proud to call themselves Americans.

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Lina Beers, Martinsburg WV — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:05:43 GMT

Men Have dealt with the lack of emotion and dissattachment from their families after returning from war as long as war has existed. The Military trains you to remain un-attached while you do your duty and your job, it is what keeps us alive.
Women asked for equal treatment and equal rights, why complain about it now? Even before you enlist, you hear the stories and get presented the facts in newspapers, in daily news reports in word of mouth from other people's experiences.
Women ARE prepared just as much as the mne, maybe more so, before women where permitted in the military they had the opposing side experiences of family members & friends coming home from a war and not being able to connect or communicate any longer.

For those who constantly publish and state the obvious, where have you been your whole life? Buried under a rock?

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Barbara , Ft. Bragg, NC — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:22:17 GMT

I am sorry that most of you feel that these military women are wanting some kind of pity. You should step one day into thier shoes before you open your mouths. I am a "Military Brat" and also a wife of a soldier. My husband has been through hell and so has his friends. We have lost dear friends and family members in this war. All these soldiers want is to be respected and to be listened to. It is hard for the soldiers as well as the family to adjust to them being back. We as wives take on the responsibility of being mom and dad and we pay the bills and anything else that needs to be paid. If you want to be married to a military man then you need to realize that you are married to the Military as well. As my dad was told when he went in to the Army in 1975, if the Army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one. We know what we are getting into when we marry a soldier and if you can't handle it then don't do it. My husband and I still have our differences just like any other couple, but as some stated above you have to work on it to make it work if that is what you want.It is just like any other relationship, you work at it if you want it bad enough and you respect them jsut a little more because they are protecting our freedom and yours so that you can continue to have the freedom you do. As to Naomi, my heart and prayers to your family and God Bless. As to you males who think that the women are being selfish because they are going into the army, shame on you. They are making the same sacrifices that your sons and grandsons are making. Naomi is not wanting charity or sympathy. She just told how it is for ANY soldier coming back from the war feels. Get a clue... you would not have your freedom if it wasn't for these brave men and woman who are fighting for it everyday. We need to show respect to all soldiers including those who fought in Vietnam. They all deserve it.

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Linda, Kansas City, MO — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:36:54 GMT

I just think that two parents shouldn't be allowed to be in the miltary at the same time. I think if there are children at least one parent should be home to be with their kids. Male or female that part doesn't matter.

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Lisa, Gaithersburg Md — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:38:38 GMT

To Sheliah Webb, you never know until YOU serve, not a family member BUT you. Its easy for anyone to say they had a family member served and what happen. Grant onething, I'm glad your father is home safely and I'm sorry that he was POW, but like you said we know what happens when we serve our country (anything can). But to be harm and killed by your own fellow soldier or rape is another thing, That's what happening now! Female Soldiers are being pressure to have sex from higher rank, being raped when going to shower or whereever they may be going. Its being done by their own. Have your ever been put in this situation, I don't think so, I had to counselor soldiers who had been raped, mistreated by their fellow soldiers. Before you talk, read and understand that all are human.

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Caren — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:40:28 GMT

We are living in a very wicked world. Over 46 million babies have been aborted by their mothers. The few who don't murder them before birth, quickly dump them in a kiddie kennel for others to raise. These military women are more interested in escaping their children, than "fighting for YOUR freedom". It's about women wanting to be men, and a government that encourages that.

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Melanie — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:53:23 GMT

Can I just say THANK YOU...Thank You so much for leaving your families so SELFLESSLY to protect me and mine!!! I know that our country is at war, but this is ridiculous to attack each other this way, we are NOT the enemy!!! The military, our soldiers need our support more than ever. Whether or not you support the war is irrelevant, WE ARE AT WAR!!!! I feel for the children that are left behind, but the cool thing is that their momma, or daddy is THE HERO!!! What makes them even more heroic to me, is that they make sure their children will be ok, if they are a single parent, it is awesome that they have the support from their friends and family to entrust such precious cargo in their care, until they can safely return again. No one has the right to judge another person...No one has the right to decide when it is ok for someone else to have a child...Hello? I am just so Thankful that we have such brave men and women who go out and battle for our very lives, for our freedoms, for they are the ones who should be Thanked!! To be saluted... I am so proud to be an American!! WE are Americans, and we have fought for our freedoms before, we need to UNITE and SUPPORT our soldiers for we are the HOME of the FREE and THE BRAVE!! I LOVE OUR SOLDIERS!!! GREAT JOB AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!! Now to all you ungrateful people, who somehow manage to point the finger and criticize, shame on you!! Show some RESPECT!!! We are who we are today because of all those brave men and women who have died BELIEVING that their ULTIMATE saccrifice wasn't in vain!!!

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Karen, Atlanta, GA — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:09:11 GMT

These stories are being reported like they are a new issue unique to Iraq. They are not. Every military family has these issues. The whole family has always served, with or without deployments. It is not just one or two parents. My father was carrer military, served in Korea and Vietnam (multiple deployments). He came back a bit more distant. It took some time to gel as a family again, but we did it. Growing up military taught me many positive, live shaping things such as the existance and importance of serving things bigger than myself, bigger than my ipod, bigger than my small world... That is My Country. We want it safe. We want it free. We want, we want... There are consequences and sacrifices involved in maintaining our spoiled, indulgent US lifestyles.
You can't have it both ways. If you want, you have to give in some way. It isn't free.
That being said, I do like the openness in which the issues are now being discussed. I hope it leads to assistance with giving back to the families who choose to serve.

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Melinda Denver, NC — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:10:00 GMT

God created man to protect woman, not the other way around.My feeling is that we should look to the creator for how he intended us to be, and go with his design. He did not design woman to be warriors. There are other support positions much more suitable. A womans first priority is to be the Godly woman she was created to be, to nurture her relationship with her husband and her children in that order.
I think being a single parent for a woman is sad in the first place, but adding to it going into the military with children is just another form of slavery...

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Jane Doe, GA — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:23:49 GMT

No women with small or school age children should be in the military at all, let alone in Iraq.

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Navy wife, jacksonville fl — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:30:44 GMT

To those of you who say that we do it for the money and education or because we are whining, get a grip. We do it because this country was founded by those who sacrificed so that we can have the life and freedoms that too many Americans take for granted. We're not asking for your pity, but look back in history to those who did serve in the Revolution, Pearl Harbor, Normandy, Desert Storm and Iraq and other lands that you and I will never see and realize that if it weren't because of them or us, you may very well not live in the Land of the Free..........

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AL Army Brat, Alabama — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:38:48 GMT

I am a military brat. My dad was in the Army the entire time I was growing up. I remember him being gone to Korea for a year, and then to Germany for 2 years. By the grace of God, he was never in a combat zone, but he was still away from the family. This definitely created a hardship. It's hard to connect with a father you barely see, let alone one you haven't seen in 8 months. However, I understood and still understand to this day what a gift my father was giving to this country. For every day that a soldier serves, whether it's stateside or overseas, they are giving a gift to each and every American alive and breathing. Please...do not hate them or think them selfish because they choose to protect us and patrol the world to keep us safe. To do anything less is disrespectful. These men an women choose to do this. Whether you think it's right or wrong - respect that they are laying their lives on the line FOR YOU. Like a previous poster said, in a dual military family, you need a preapproved plan for your family's care if both parents are to be deployed. If one cannot be reached, then a parent does stay behind. I wish that ALL parents, children, sisters, brothers, you name it could come home safely into their family's open arms. Someday, I hope that war is no longer an option for resolution of problems, that we as a world community can find resolution through peace. Until that time occurs, the men and women who wear a uniform and are proud to call themselves SOLDIERS will always have my respect, whether I support they war they fight or not. I wish others felt the same.

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D Clark, Biloxi, MS — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:41:23 GMT

to Angelosdaugther and sandy logan, I know Naomi, personally, and many other mothers serving in the Armed Forces. These women are not selfish- who are you to judge. Most of these woman gave birth to children while they were fulfilling their commitment to protect your freedoms. The military tells you where you will live, and where you will go. You're choice is to obey the orders of those over you or go AWOL and ruin your credibility. I'm a former airman myself, when I joined the Air Force, my focus was to do something with my life, get money for college, the thought of war was not something that crossed my mind. I was fortunate to not have to be sent but had my enlistment lasted into this war, I would have had to do my duty. I humbly request that you refrain from judging these woman because you do not know the circumstances that brought them into the military and in most cases keep them there. As the video of this report says, she realized she was sacrificing herself, but she didn't realize she would be sacrificing her children as well. Hindsight is 20/20- now we deal with the situation and make others aware of the affects of a war where the enemy sacrifices their lives to harm and kill us.

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Kim Callahan, Anchorage, Alaska — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:57:37 GMT

I can relate to her story, and i add this comment. I was in Desert Storm and i am still dealing with the effects of coming home. I have never quite gotten over what happened to me there. I was literely buried alive when a bunker collasped on me. I now have to deal with the fact that both of my children are in the Army.

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M Bailey — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:15:52 GMT

Reading the comments brought tears to my eyes. I so admire and respect our armed forces. Bless them, pray for them, do what you can for their families. To answer what Bush would have done if his twins were in the service, I feel is not the question to be asked. The question is, what would Bush had done if he had fought for our country!!! instead he spent his time in the reserves, when not involved with his dad's campaign (would others have been excused) or simply goofing off. I feel Bush, Rumsfled, Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, and others of that vein would have made entirely different choices had they faced battle!!!! Their obscene "know it all" attitude makes my skin crawl. Again, I greatly admire our armed forces and their families. I thank those in uniform I come in contact with during my daily life. Our troops are not complaining and whining!!!!!! Would those who belittle them, would you take their place? if not, shut up!!!!!!!

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Giulia, New Haven, CT — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:38:22 GMT

Thank you to all the women and men in the military and thank you to the children who must deal with missing them. May you all be stronger for it.

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Bill, Biloxi MS — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:04:27 GMT

This whole story is a crock. They need to go back to Biloxi and interview her last Air Force supervisor and coworkers at Keesler for the real story.

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Jennifer, Miami, FL — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:31:00 GMT

I can't believe people who will never have the guts to do what all soldiers do from the moment they enlist, feel like they have a right to judge us. I'm not asking you to thank me, though you should, but the least you can do is respect our sacrifices. As a single mother, I am being deployed in about a month to Afghanistan - nothing hurts me more than leaving my 3-year old daughter behind for a year... but the pride I see in her face when I put on my uniform is priceless - and it assures me that all the sacrifices are worth it, because I truly do everything to give her a better life. I read this article for support because this is a very difficult time for me, but it's a shame to read such hateful words by the very same citizens many of our soldiers have died for. Should we have ran away when duty called to defend you, you would have called us cowards and you would have said we were wasting your tax dollars - dollars that we ourselves pay from our military salaries. Focus on what the article is really about, and when we say "America is United," say it with pride.

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Jason, Queens,NY — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 02:18:32 GMT

I am very very aggravated at the comments that people have been posting about my sister she and our family have been through this war and her PTSD has put a strain on her relationship with her children and her family I do have to say I look up to my sister as a hero and think that the vulgarity of comments from "americans" bashing on a hard working mother who is trying to piece together a life that was ripped apart. Before everyone starts giving the "tough love" speech listen to the whole story not what you want to hear.

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Billy Allison Salisbury,nc 28144 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:11:08 GMT

I,as a disabled serviced-connected veteran think very high of this brave female soldier and think that it is time that we honor all soldiers service ehether it as at war or not and as for as get a grip is concern try getting a grip when you see your freedom began to slip away where you could not do as you say or choose, as being fired on medical leave from a federal contractor in north carolina from a company making military vehicles if citizens of this country stay the course with the bull-headed attitudes just maybe there will be no need for any supplies these corporations are making because ther will come a time when there will be NO ONE TO OPERATE THIS WOTHLESS SUPPLIES OR EQUIPMENT,We thank almighty God for the Men and Women that will take the time and effort to serve this great Country that we take for granted so lightly.

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Charles Wood, St. Simons Island, Ga. — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:10:35 GMT

I am currently the commander of Ga. DAV Chaper in Brunswick, Ga. and also the service officer. We really do not have many vets from the current wars,but we have some local National Guard. I would like to help any of those who have disabilties! Charle Wood, Commander

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Blackie — Tue, 13 May 2008 02:17:16 GMT

Another reason why this war is a sham--Afghanistan, too as well. I hope these kids that you interviewed learn to hate war and NEVER TO TRUST the gov't. The whole war is a waste, of lives, bodies, and minds. I fail to see where the US CONSTITUTION is being fought for in the Middle East. The troops have been duped into doing the bidding of the neocons and the military-industrial complex. I hope Naomi recovers. Trouble is, many troops STILL want to go back into these debacles. What a waste!

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heather Smith, hattiesburg, ms — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:48:51 GMT

Im a wife of a former Marine who was diagnosed with severe PTSD after serving in Iraq..Its not a male or female related topic..Its both..Im going to say that NO ONE understands the sacrafice the service members OR the families make when in time of war..Just because you have kids does not mean that you can not enjoy your life as a family..The whole point is, that you are not the same person that you were when you left and that puts a strain on the families..I dont think anyone should past judgement on any of these guys..If you are so bad to put them down, i would love you see you have to go fight for your country and come back after seeing what these people have seen and say that you are mentally ok..Because i seriously doubt you would be..This is a huge problem, everyone can past judgement on everyone else, but yet the ones with the negative judgements are the once enjoying their freedom sitting in their living rooms, while our service members are out there putting their lives on the lines and the families are sitting at home hoping they are not the next knock on the door with news that their loved one is not coming home..My advice to all of you that have noting good to say...GO JOIN and then you can talk all you want about it..Unless you have been there, done that, i think you need to keep quiet and just be greatful there are people out there watching your backs while you enjoy life..PTSD is nothing to play with, its a strain on the families, and you never know what is going to happen next or how they will react to any situation...THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK..Join the military or marry a service member before you go talking your 2 cents