Having kids at 40

Jerry Tolk, NY, NY — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 22:23:18 GMT

I was suprised and disappointed that NBC did not highlight the Conception Kit (www.conceptionkit.com)- the first and only FDA-cleared conception system for couples to use in their home. With IVF $10K or more, this $300 kit is helping couples across the country have babies - safely, effectively, and without drugs or invasive procedures.

Having kids at 40

Darla Stark, Cleburne, TX — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 22:57:59 GMT

I got pregnant for the first time at age 40, with no help from fertility doctors. As far as stress affecting your ability to get pregnant, my only sibling, my brother died about 2 months before I became pregnant. The major stress I received during pregnancy was from my OB-GYN, who kept asking me at each early visit if I was going to abort. My daughter is now 8, and is very healthy and

Having kids at 40

Kathleen A. Hirkala, Weirton, WV — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:10:53 GMT

Infertility is truly a heartbreaking condition which has the same emotional effect in women as major illnesses such as cancer. Another place couples can seek help, starting with a diagnosis, is the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction in Omaha, NE home of NaProTechnology, a fairly "new" women's health science with over 25 years of research backing it. Although the Institute has a "Catholic" name it is not solely a Catholic institution. Many couples have been helped by this group and it's cheaper than IVF.

Having kids at 40

Jen, Colorado Springs, CO — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:57:30 GMT

It's mandatory in New Jersey and Massachusetts for insurance companies to cover $12,000 in vitro fertilization? It should be mandatory for couples to consider adopting one of the thousands of children waiting in foster homes before adding to the world's population. Never mind how our insurance rates go up to cover someone else's selfish need to continue their own bloodline.

Having kids at 40

clairol bastian, Miami Fl — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:20:38 GMT

I have been trying for over ten years to have a baby. I would like to know if there are any insurance companies in the south florida are that would cover the cost of infertility treatment. I would also like to know if there are any organization that would donate the treatments for free. I have tried in the past and was unsuccessful; I just can't afford it at all.

Having kids at 40

Robin Gorman Newman, www.motherhoodlater.com (NY) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 01:23:44 GMT

I became a mom at 42, through adoption. There are many ways to become a parent later in life. My son is a joy, and I've since started Motherhood Later....Than Sooner, a community/resource for 35+ moms with young children...and aspiring moms. I've found as an "older" mom that it helps to befriend other "older" moms to share the experience.

Having kids at 40

Laura, Omaha, NE — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:25:31 GMT

My husband and I are doing an IVF treatment this fall in the Czech Rep. We can not afford treatment here in the US and we will pay about $6,000 comparded to $12-24,000 in the US. My OB Dr. checked out the clinic himself, and is impressed. We considered adoption - finding the cost $10-$30,000 how sad. US gov. needs to do something about these outrageous costs for both (IVF & adoption)

Having kids at 40

Tina, Jacksonville, FL — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:30:15 GMT

I am apalled at some of the unfeeling comments given. If you were able to conceive at 40, good for you. You are in the minority. You should feel lucky rather than minimize the pain others have at not being able to conceive.

For those who criticize IVF participants for not adopting instead, your criticism is misguided. The criticism should be aimed at those who make the adoption process out of the reach of some very good families. It is very difficult for military families to adopt in the US because they often move to new states every few years. In our case, IVF was cheaper than international adoption and it came from our own pockets not from an insurance company.

Some people just need to get off of their political soapboxes long enough to realize the pain that goes along with this issue.

Having kids at 40

Mindy Rupp Garfield Heights,Ohio — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:07:54 GMT

I am 45 and single and want so desperatly to have a baby. If my insurance covered it, you bet I'd do it in a heartbeat. When does it become selfish to want to procreate? The rising costs of insurance have much more to do with fraud and doctor & drug companies greediness than they do with those people wanting to have a baby. God gave women this abillty as a gift and although it is a choice, it is one I would do just about anything to be able to do. For me eing single and over 40, adoption doesn't seem to be an option. What about all those children out there needing homes - why are adoption agencies so quick to disallow people of a certain age (among other criteria)? Shouldn't the ability to love and care for a child take presidence over all?

Having kids at 40

What's Important in Baltimore — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 15:03:02 GMT

With the world's population at an almost unsustainable level and 47 million people uninsured, why is NBC focusing on "fertility" treatments that cost 10 -12 thousand dollars a try and on families with 19 children visiting New York!

Having kids at 40

Andrew Johnson, Reno, NV — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 17:25:13 GMT

Infertility and adoption both have incredible emotional consequences - and rewards - that IMO are just as weighty as the physical and financial aspects. We endured 10 years of fertility treatments while at the same time explored many adoption avenues. We finally found our path and started our family through domestic adoption. While probably the most difficult period of our lives, we would not trade a second of it. Every person/couple comes to family-building with a different set of expectations, goals, financial means, etc. - so there is no easy and clean response to those who choose the path that is comfortable for them. It is a very complicated emotional journey - in fact, borne from our experiences, we developed some educational materials with Alice Domar (one of professionals highlighted in the story) to help individuals/couples resolve their infertility and stress conflicts - whether the ultimate answer, for them, is to continue treatments, adopt or remain childless. Success is peaceful resolution - not necessarily a pregnancy or baby.

Having kids at 40

Alice Sales, Council Bluffs, IA — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:03:21 GMT

The problem is that most people see infertility as the main problem and overlook the truth which is that infertility is a symptom of a bigger problem. Identifying and treating the root causes instead of bypassing them with IVF, not only are the chances increased for a healthy pregnancy, but the women's health as a whole, physically and emotionally, are healed. I experienced exactly that with NaProTechnolgy founded by Dr. Thomas Hilgers at Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE.

Having kids at 40

Thanks to all the egg donors! — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:54:36 GMT

I had a baby at 40, and couldn't have another one a year later. It was the shock of my life. Given I was a medical reporter for many years, and I didn't know even the basic information about my own "biological clock," I set out to figure it out. My struggle ended happily however, when I gave birth twice within two months, to my daughter and then to the only comprehensive guide to the biological clock (see: www.KnowYourBioclock.com).

So far in this discussion nobody has brought up the option of egg donation. My beautiful daughter was brought into this world thanks to the technology of IVF, several brilliant physicians and embryologists, caring nurses, and a wonderful egg donor. I can't tell you how thankful I am that I had this opportunity, given we are the first generation of women who can, whereas men have always had the option of sperm donation when things weren't working right--regardless of age. We would have adopted had this not been an option for us, and yes covered by our Massachusetts insurance. Adoption was far more overwhelming, trying, and prohibitive for us as a first step, particularly during this incredibly emotionally charged portion of our lives.

Having kids at 40

Annette, Denver, CO — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:58:19 GMT

I couldn't agree more with Tina. If you were able to get pregnant after age 40 then kudos to you - you are definitely in the minority! Please use your success to celebrate your achievement rather than to belittle someone else's loss.

I also agree that criticism of IVF versus adoption is misguided. In addition to the exorbitant cost, there are so many hurdles to domestic and international adoption these days. The systems are rife with blockades, red tape, and long waiting periods. If you'd really like to see more of the world's foster children adopted, please direct your anger and energy at the folks who make adoption so difficult.

IVF - whether using one's own eggs, sperm or those of a donor - is just another viable option for those wanting to have and raise children - usually for less cost and without the bureaucratic nightmare.

And, one thing to be sure of, whether one makes the decision to undergo IVF or adoption, there has definitely been a lot of time, effort, emotion, and soul searching put into it.

Having kids at 40

astewartmsnbc is so fine — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 21:19:37 GMT

you need allison stewart to keep talking about these issues constantly so she's always on the tv screen.

Having kids at 40

Gail, Merritt Island, FL — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 22:07:20 GMT

Clairol, My husband worked for Brighthouse and we had United Health Care, they cover 3 IVF cycles and it only cost $25 co-pay.
Jen, you are amazly rude, you have no idea what these women go through. Why don't you try to adopt and see how diffucult and expensive it is. Most of these women just want to be moms and would gladly adopt if they could.

Having kids at 40

Fort Lauderdale, Florida — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 23:27:09 GMT

Selfish needs! I'm appauled on some of these comments. The heartache in going just through 1 ivf and not getting pregnant is heart breaking enough. Try four and $65k dollars later and borrowing and being in debt to your family for years!!!! Fortunately my Husband and I where lucky to finally get pregnant and get the support from our family. But what about those unfortunate couples who can love and provide for a child and NOT THROW THEM IN THE GARBAGE. They can't have one because of cost but Insurance will cover VIAGRA!!! Help me understand that one.
So, before you make those comments and you know who you are think about the people here in the U.S. that can not have a family just because of a medical reason (like cancer) and can only get pregnant through IVF but can't afford to do so.
And if you have a family than you are one of the fotunate ones!

Having kids at 40

TX — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 17:46:56 GMT

I thought that comments wouldn't be approved if they were attacking comments of others. Hmmm...
I do feel fortunate and blessed everyday. My comment didn't minimize or belittle anyone else. And what about my loss? I lost my parents and brother and couldn't share my joy with them.

Having kids at 40

Dev, Toronto, Ontario — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 00:37:24 GMT

As humans, we can be truly stupid.

During the best fertility years we do everything to avoid pregnancy. We take pills, we use devices, we abort. And yet, when we selfishly covet a baby to call our own, we expect to just be able to do it...like it's an absolute right to be a parent whenever we choose or decide that the time is right.

Eggs have a best before date. We toss food out of our fridge when we are worried about it's safety to eat, but we create a life knowing that we are over the recommended age for a safe pregnancy and healthy baby. We play Russian Roulette with a new life...sometimes condemning them to a life of disease, illness or disability. How crazy is that?

We all pay the price for our choices. You want a career and financial stability...go for it. If you want a healthy brood of children...don't wait too long.

However, ask yourself this question:

Do you really come out ahead financially when you spend your life's savings on trying to have the baby you could have had for free when you were younger?

I have very little sympathy for those who make the choice to wait until they are middle age and can't. How many healthy babies could you have had before turning 40?

Having kids at 40

Ann Chamberlain — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:43:30 GMT

I am currently pregnant from an IVF, and I don't feel the least bit guilty that we did not adopt a child instead. We only spent $20 grand on our IVF attempts, whereas we would have had to spend $35 grand on international adoption. I'm actually appalled that some people think we were wrong to not spend more money and time on adoption. But you know what? I'm too busy picking out nursery accessories and reading my baby name books to even care about those jerks anymore. I sleep just fine at night and am satisfied with my politically incorrect decision to have a biological child instead.

Having kids at 40

Dave Hampton, Centerburg, Ohio — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:33:56 GMT

This may sound crazy, but I am a 50 year old male in very good condition and this last year I have wanted more kids! I want them in a bad way. My wife is 48 years old and is in good condition as well. But I do not want to do anything that would jeopardize her health. She everything to me. But I want more kids in a bad way. Does this make sense?

Dave...

Having kids at 40

Holly — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:52:52 GMT

I am a 39 year old woman with a ten yeard old son. I am now having deep regrets about not having another child. I am thinking of trying to get pregnant but most people look at me like I am crazy not to mention the fact that I worry that I will be to old to play with my child in ten years.

I feel for those of you who have not been able to get pregnant at all.
I have one beautiful boy but still my heart hurts because I made a big mistake by not trying to have more children when I was a few years younger.

Having kids at 40

Steve, Navarre, Fl — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 11:50:17 GMT

God gave a woman the ability to have children but he only gave it for a set time frame. When the body is young it can do this with no problem, but when it gets old it can not sustain or be able to be a viable body to have children.
I know a close friend of mine (now ex-girl friend, we made the decision together to part ways because she wanted kids and I do not, I am 41 and have 3 kids from a prvious marriage) she had a great career but during that time she got pregnant and aborted it because her career was more important. Now she is almost 39 and wants to have a child. When she told me this I told her good luck and added you don't have a man that you are married to or a job. She also was injured on the job, it was to her back and neck. Now she has pain in her right leg and arm. She tried taking care of her friends baby and was exhausted after one day of it. I asked her how she was going to take care of a baby for 365 days if she could not handle it for one day. Her answer was "my husband will be there to help" and I said what if he comes home from work and is to tired to help. Then there will be arguments and maybe more problems.

The point I am making is that God gave women the ability to have children when they are young so they are strong enough to handle it not to mention they are at their peak fertile time, not when they are in their 40s and 50s.

Sorry to be so blunt but that is the way it is. Women need to be concious of the fact that they are young only once and have a limited time to have children. If they put their career before family, than later want children, well good luck in finding a man that wants children at such a later stage in life too.

Having kids at 40

Lola — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:27:38 GMT

Some women can conceive and birth perfectly fine at 40 and above. When nature allows a woman in her later fertile years to become pregnant, then I think it's natures way of saying it's okay. Not everyone can, but that doesn't mean that those who can are monsters.

Having kids at 40

Victoria, New York City, N.Y. — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:37:43 GMT

Kudo's to Lola for her comments that some women can conceive and give birth perfectly fine after 40! I conceived on the first try at age 44 and feel truly blessed. My due date is only two weeks away and my husband and I can't wait to meet our son. I have never had a previous pregnancy or abortion. I do believe that this is nature's way and God's way of saying that this is a good thing. I recently met a woman who thought she was going through menopause but instead found out she was pregnant at 48! Her son was born healthy and happy. To all "older" women- don't give up hope! Anything is possible!

Having kids at 40

C. AMADEO, HATFIELD, P.A. — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:40:58 GMT

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR OVER 5 YEARS TO HAVE A FAMILY. I HAVE HAD 5 PREGNANCIES, BUT NONE HAVE LIVED. TALK ABOUT HURT AND INFERTILITY. MY DR. SAYS OUR ONLY CHANCE IS IVF, BUT LIKE OTHER COUPLES OUT THERE, WE CAN'T AFFORD IT. SO MY POINT IS TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT HAVENT'T HAD PROBLEMS CONCEIVING OR THAT THINK THAT OVER 40 IS TOO OLD TO START THAT FAMILY U WANT SOOO MUCH. UNTIL YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN ANY OF OUR SHOES DONT'T COMMENT!!!!!! I JUST PRAY TO GOD THAT IT WILL HAPPEN FOR US AND ANY ONE ELSE OUT THERE WANTING THIS AS MUCH AS I DO. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.

Having kids at 40

Jasmine S. Novoa, Miami, Florida — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:48:27 GMT

Hi, I'm 40 years old, I have a daughter 19 yeald old, and I'm going to try to get pregna throug IVF, I know is won't be easy but my husband and me praise to God alot to ge tha beautiful gif, I donot if agoing the righ place (south miami intitute on south miami)could give me any information please.